Where Everybody Knows You're Numb

Date: Wed Jun 24 9:27 PM, 2009

RE: sad story

Date: Wed Jun 24 1:56 PM, 2009

Psych Lit wrote:

boxdog1031 wrote:

omfg. This is a tragic story. However, I can't argue both sides. There's only one. The rape victim actually has real "rights". There is no such thing as the adopted child (sic)" rights to their own history" like you mention. That's an emotional argument only.
yes but isnt it the emotional aspect that is so compelling? i cant imagine tho what it must feel like to know that you are the product of a rape? that must be wrenching as well.

This birth motherwas in no way legally obligated to respond to anything she didn't care to that continued to bring this rape to the forefront of her life. She should be suing for a boatload more than a million bucks. She should sue the kid directly as well. Maybe the kid wants to find her birth father to complete the family tree.
i wonder if shes gone on to do this? id assume daddys name wasnt on any birth cert tho.
This is sickening. This is an argument for several things, abortion being one, RU48 another, and the accountability of the keepers of private records making certain such sealed records remain so. I am disgusted by this story.
thats the other thing that interested me here. this woman did not abort but chose to give birth. this is one of the many reasons i am pro choice. i dont think anyone should be forced to bear the child of a rapist. i wonder if she was underage in a state that didnt allow abortion without parental consent or what the story was? i was also shocked by the last part of this where it says that the kid is still contacting her and trying to establish a relationship despite being asked to stay away and how that too was an assault of sorts, one that was closer to the original rape than to anything else.

This may actually be the second in a series of "rapes" against this woman. It is very possible that the "choice" was not hers to conceive. So, while the pregnancy and birth tool place there is no suggestion in the article of this being the womans decision. There is a cultural bullying that takes place either for religious or other "moral" reasons that force rape victims and women with unintentional pregnancies to bear these fetus. So, there's an initial rape, could be her father, brother, relative, stranger. There's the carrying of the child she adamantly (understandably) does not wish anything to do with. There's the keeper of the records "doing what they had to do" for the product of this rape. And now a most recent rape of the insistance of the full grown placenta to force itself into this womans life. This woman is a victim in so many ways.

I think it most likely the scenario was one where this rape victim was forced to carry this fetus to term. She maintained a consistency over thirty years to remain separate of this birth. I hate this story.

I'm not so compelled by the thirty year olds desire to force herself onto her reluctant birth cannel. I know no other way to put it to her except that she continues to rape this woman too, as did her father. The rapist.

BD

Psych Lit · Guru

boxdog1031 wrote:

omfg. This is a tragic story. However, I can't argue both sides. There's only one. The rape victim actually has real "rights". There is no such thing as the adopted child (sic)" rights to their own history" like you mention. That's an emotional argument only.
yes but isnt it the emotional aspect that is so compelling? i cant imagine tho what it must feel like to know that you are the product of a rape? that must be wrenching as well.

This birth motherwas in no way legally obligated to respond to anything she didn't care to that continued to bring this rape to the forefront of her life. She should be suing for a boatload more than a million bucks. She should sue the kid directly as well. Maybe the kid wants to find her birth father to complete the family tree.
i wonder if shes gone on to do this? id assume daddys name wasnt on any birth cert tho.
This is sickening. This is an argument for several things, abortion being one, RU48 another, and the accountability of the keepers of private records making certain such sealed records remain so. I am disgusted by this story.
thats the other thing that interested me here. this woman did not abort but chose to give birth. this is one of the many reasons i am pro choice. i dont think anyone should be forced to bear the child of a rapist. i wonder if she was underage in a state that didnt allow abortion without parental consent or what the story was? i was also shocked by the last part of this where it says that the kid is still contacting her and trying to establish a relationship despite being asked to stay away and how that too was an assault of sorts, one that was closer to the original rape than to anything else.

boxdog1031 · Veteran Member

Psych Lit wrote:

This is a terrible story and one that i could argue both sides of. i imagine that it must be impossible to grow up wondering about who gave birth to you and the ways in which you are like them or the medical history of your parents. but imagine opening the door one day and seeing the face of the person who raped you on the face of the product of that rape. tho i want to say that people who have given up children for adoption should have a say in whether or not to meet that child someday but to say that is to deny the longing of the child and their rights to their own history

Birth Mother Sues After Meeting Child
Woman Claims State Aided Reunion With Child of Rape
AOL News
posted: 10 HOURS 8 MINUTES AGO
comments: 1731
filed under: Law News, National News
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(June 23) -- A lawsuit filed in New Jersey brings up issues of privacy in adoption cases.
An woman is suing the state for allegedly facilitating a reunion with a daughter she gave up for adoption 30 years ago, the Philadelphia Daily News reported.
The Atlantic City woman, whose name is being withheld from the press, gave up her child after being raped. The lawsuit, filed June 18, claims she felt "violated, in shock and short of breath," after her biological child showed up at her home in December.
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"Everyone would like to believe that these reunions are so wonderful," the woman's attorney, Matthew Weisberg, told the newspaper. "This one wasn't. They didn't have coffee together. My client went pale. She is devastated and continues to be devastated because her biological child continues to attempt contact with her."
The lawsuit claims the woman received a letter in August 2008 from New Jersey's Division of Youth and Family Services about an adopted adult who was looking for her birth parents. The letter requested confirmation both of the woman's identity and her interest in pursuing the case. The woman chose not to respond.
Despite the birth mother's lack of response to the inquiry, the adopted daughter found her four months later. The woman's legal complaint says DYFS told her officials "more or less did what they had to do" after she did not return the initial letter.
The woman is seeking $1 million in damages from the state for emotional damages resulting from the inquiry and reunion.

omfg. This is a tragic story. However, I can't argue both sides. There's only one. The rape victim actually has real "rights". There is no such thing as the adopted child (sic)" rights to their own history" like you mention. That's an emotional argument only. This birth motherwas in no way legally obligated to respond to anything she didn't care to that continued to bring this rape to the forefront of her life. She should be suing for a boatload more than a million bucks. She should sue the kid directly as well. Maybe the kid wants to find her birth father to complete the family tree. This is sickening. This is an argument for several things, abortion being one, RU48 another, and the accountability of the keepers of private records making certain such sealed records remain so. I am disgusted by this story.

Psych Lit · Guru

This is a terrible story and one that i could argue both sides of. i imagine that it must be impossible to grow up wondering about who gave birth to you and the ways in which you are like them or the medical history of your parents. but imagine opening the door one day and seeing the face of the person who raped you on the face of the product of that rape. tho i want to say that people who have given up children for adoption should have a say in whether or not to meet that child someday but to say that is to deny the longing of the child and their rights to their own history

Birth Mother Sues After Meeting Child

Woman Claims State Aided Reunion With Child of Rape

AOL News

posted: 10 HOURS 8 MINUTES AGO

comments: 1731

filed under: Law News, National News

Print

Share

Text SizeAAA

(June 23) -- A lawsuit filed in New Jersey brings up issues of privacy in adoption cases.

An woman is suing the state for allegedly facilitating a reunion with a daughter she gave up for adoption 30 years ago, the Philadelphia Daily News reported.

The Atlantic City woman, whose name is being withheld from the press, gave up her child after being raped. The lawsuit, filed June 18, claims she felt "violated, in shock and short of breath," after her biological child showed up at her home in December.

Skip over this content

"Everyone would like to believe that these reunions are so wonderful," the woman's attorney, Matthew Weisberg, told the newspaper. "This one wasn't. They didn't have coffee together. My client went pale. She is devastated and continues to be devastated because her biological child continues to attempt contact with her."

The lawsuit claims the woman received a letter in August 2008 from New Jersey's Division of Youth and Family Services about an adopted adult who was looking for her birth parents. The letter requested confirmation both of the woman's identity and her interest in pursuing the case. The woman chose not to respond.

Despite the birth mother's lack of response to the inquiry, the adopted daughter found her four months later. The woman's legal complaint says DYFS told her officials "more or less did what they had to do" after she did not return the initial letter.

The woman is seeking $1 million in damages from the state for emotional damages resulting from the inquiry and reunion.