Where Everybody Knows You're Numb

Psych Lit · Guru

RE: im thinking they need to stop taking the philosophy courses

Psych Lit · Guru

MyCat8it wrote:

I'm not disagreeing with the parents, BUT, I'm thinking of the school-age child, too. At the playground, some other child is bound to ask, "are you a boy or a girl?" in a very innocent manner. How will Pop answer? Will Pop even know the answer or understand the question? If Pop answers simply, "I don't know," oh the fun the kids will have with that poor child.
yep thats my concern too. kids can be amazingly cruel. tho thats one of those who owns the problem kind of things. the problem of gender expectations is owned by those who follow societal norms but the problem resulting from those expectations falls on pops shoulders.

On the other hand, Pop will learn quickly the difference between a boy and a girl and will choose accordingly.
Was Pop a home birth? or does Sweden simply not place the gender on a birth certificate?

MyCat8it · Senior Member

Anonymous wrote:

MyCat8it wrote:
I'm not disagreeing with the parents, BUT, I'm thinking of the school-age child, too. At the playground, some other child is bound to ask, "are you a boy or a girl?" in a very innocent manner. How will Pop answer? Will Pop even know the answer or understand the question? If Pop answers simply, "I don't know," oh the fun the kids will have with that poor child. On the other hand, Pop will learn quickly the difference between a boy and a girl and will choose accordingly.
Was Pop a home birth? or does Sweden simply not place the gender on a birth certificate?

I was wondering if the parents don't know how Pop will gender. And, this technique of child raising should be implimented in place of those instances where surgical sexual assignment is done at birth. To later be deemed wrong. Gator

I thought the same thing. Perhaps Pop is a hermaphrodite (or however it's spelled) and the parents, don't wish to make the decision for the child.

Date: Wed Jul 1 6:05 AM, 2009

MyCat8it wrote:

Psych Lit wrote:

nesea wrote:

"Ignoring children's natures simply doesn't work," she said. "Child-rearing should not be about providing an opportunity to prove an ideological point, but about responding to each child's needs as an individual."

My first thought is ... responding to the child without regard to gender WOULD be more authentic than responding to what we expect the child's nature to be ... wouldn't it?

in a perfect world sure but i think its hard to escape the gender cues that exist and i think it would be confusing for the kid. what happens when the kid gets to school? which locker room does the kid get changed in? or if the kid is separated and sent to dress alone how is that explained? when the kid goes to the mall which rest room does pop use? i dont know. if it werent a human being were talkin about it might be an interesting experiment i think it sets the kid up for ridicule by his/her peers. and then too i wonder how being separated from gender expectations might effect socialization. remember the kid in class who was "different"? kids typically are not kind to other kids, especially when they act differently.

I'm not disagreeing with the parents, BUT, I'm thinking of the school-age child, too. At the playground, some other child is bound to ask, "are you a boy or a girl?" in a very innocent manner. How will Pop answer? Will Pop even know the answer or understand the question? If Pop answers simply, "I don't know," oh the fun the kids will have with that poor child. On the other hand, Pop will learn quickly the difference between a boy and a girl and will choose accordingly.
Was Pop a home birth? or does Sweden simply not place the gender on a birth certificate?

I was wondering if the parents don't know how Pop will gender. And, this technique of child raising should be implimented in place of those instances where surgical sexual assignment is done at birth. To later be deemed wrong. Gator

MyCat8it · Senior Member

Psych Lit wrote:

nesea wrote:

"Ignoring children's natures simply doesn't work," she said. "Child-rearing should not be about providing an opportunity to prove an ideological point, but about responding to each child's needs as an individual."

My first thought is ... responding to the child without regard to gender WOULD be more authentic than responding to what we expect the child's nature to be ... wouldn't it?

in a perfect world sure but i think its hard to escape the gender cues that exist and i think it would be confusing for the kid. what happens when the kid gets to school? which locker room does the kid get changed in? or if the kid is separated and sent to dress alone how is that explained? when the kid goes to the mall which rest room does pop use? i dont know. if it werent a human being were talkin about it might be an interesting experiment i think it sets the kid up for ridicule by his/her peers. and then too i wonder how being separated from gender expectations might effect socialization. remember the kid in class who was "different"? kids typically are not kind to other kids, especially when they act differently.

I'm not disagreeing with the parents, BUT, I'm thinking of the school-age child, too. At the playground, some other child is bound to ask, "are you a boy or a girl?" in a very innocent manner. How will Pop answer? Will Pop even know the answer or understand the question? If Pop answers simply, "I don't know," oh the fun the kids will have with that poor child. On the other hand, Pop will learn quickly the difference between a boy and a girl and will choose accordingly.

Was Pop a home birth? or does Sweden simply not place the gender on a birth certificate?

Psych Lit · Guru

nesea wrote:

"Ignoring children's natures simply doesn't work," she said. "Child-rearing should not be about providing an opportunity to prove an ideological point, but about responding to each child's needs as an individual."

My first thought is ... responding to the child without regard to gender WOULD be more authentic than responding to what we expect the child's nature to be ... wouldn't it?

in a perfect world sure but i think its hard to escape the gender cues that exist and i think it would be confusing for the kid. what happens when the kid gets to school? which locker room does the kid get changed in? or if the kid is separated and sent to dress alone how is that explained? when the kid goes to the mall which rest room does pop use? i dont know. if it werent a human being were talkin about it might be an interesting experiment i think it sets the kid up for ridicule by his/her peers. and then too i wonder how being separated from gender expectations might effect socialization. remember the kid in class who was "different"? kids typically are not kind to other kids, especially when they act differently.

nesea · Senior Member

"Ignoring children's natures simply doesn't work," she said. "Child-rearing should not be about providing an opportunity to prove an ideological point, but about responding to each child's needs as an individual."

My first thought is ... responding to the child without regard to gender WOULD be more authentic than responding to what we expect the child's nature to be ... wouldn't it?

Psych Lit · Guru

Parents Won't Say if Tot Is Boy or Girl

AOL News

posted: 5 HOURS 38 MINUTES AGO

comments: 123

filed under: Weird News, World News

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(June 29) - A Swedish couple's decision to keep their toddler's gender a secret is stirring debate, especially now that the parents are expecting a second child.

"Pop" is 2 ½ years old, but so far only those who change the child's diapers know whether the youngster is a boy or a girl, TheLocal.se, an English-language site for Swedish news, said last week.

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Back in March, the parents gave an interview to the Svenska Dagbladet newspaper, saying they decided not to reveal their child's sex because they believe gender is a social construction.

"We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mold from the outset," said the childs mother, "Nora." (The paper used fake names for the entire family to protect their privacy.)

"It's cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead," the mother said.

The parents, both 24 years old, said they never use personal pronouns when referring to the child. They just say "Pop."

The tot wears everything from dresses to pants, and Pop is usually the one who decides what to wear on any given morning. Pop's hairstyle is also changed on a regular basis, so it doesnt provide any clues.

Swedish gender equality expert Kristina Henkel told The Local that the experiment could make Pop a stronger person, since he or she wont be subject to gender stereotypes.

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"Girls are told they are cute in their dresses, and boys are told they are cool with their car toys. But if you give them no gender they will be seen more as a human or not a stereotype as a boy or girl," said Henkel.

But Toronto psychologist Susan Pinker, author of the book 'The Sexual Paradox,' said keeping a child's sex a secret is a really bad idea.

"Ignoring children's natures simply doesn't work," she said. "Child-rearing should not be about providing an opportunity to prove an ideological point, but about responding to each child's needs as an individual."

Pinker said the truth is bound to come out when Pop starts school. But Pop's parents say they will only reveal the childs sex when Pop decides it is time.

"The kid is too young to decide anything on its own. Someone please rescue the kid from its crazy parents," wrote one poster on The Local's comment boards.

But others thought the parents were doing the right thing.

"They're actually thinking about how they're raising their child rather than just going along with what society expects, which, in my opinion, is much better than the majority of people who raise their kids to fit their own vision of what they think their kids should be," another poster wrote.