Where Everybody Knows You're Numb

Psych Lit wrote:

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Nightowlhoot3 wrote:

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Psych Lit wrote:

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nesea wrote:

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9. When I wake up in the morning... I try to linger for a few moments in that hazy place between sleeping and waking

oh yeah isnt that a nice place? especially when the snooze alarm doesnt interrupt

 

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While still others like to jump right into an envigorating shower:

Or at least so it went at MY house this sunny March morning ...

 

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these are great! its nice to see the birdies have found their way back to the bathhouse!

 

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Psych Lit wrote:

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nesea wrote:

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9. When I wake up in the morning... I try to linger for a few moments in that hazy place between sleeping and waking

oh yeah isnt that a nice place? especially when the snooze alarm doesnt interrupt

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Or at least so it went at MY house this sunny March morning ...

BoxDog wrote:

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Me:
Anyway, this was my day. So this is all I have for now.


6. Somewhere, someone is thinking... That they literally, and very freshly, took a secret to their grave. And it's me. 

7. I'll always... wonder why that was. 

-- Edited by Nightowlhoot3 on Monday 16th of March 2009 07:53:47 AM

{{{bd}}}} that was a beautiful and seemingly appropriate song. i dont know what to tell you, people get stuck in the quicksand between worlds or between lives, between the real and the unrealized. as much as they wish to leap toward happiness they are simply not strong enough to move. not everybody can. sometimes the strength required is gobbled up by life experiences that warn that making those leaps is to leap toward an unknown that is too scary or too fragile and yet?   real love, imo, happens in the places where the quicksand doesnt exist however fleeting those moments. cherish what was and believe that there was bravery in those moments.  we all love the best that we can with the best that we have and sometimes that may not be enough to move that foot toward freedom. i suspect tho that those moments were very real for her. we meet people as they are, in the place that they are and we love or not from that place and while sometimes thats not enough, all else is really illusion.

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James Blunt; Carry You Home

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqhKo8Aat90&feature=email

-- Edited by BoxDog on Tuesday 17th of March 2009 09:12:58 PM

 

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Nightowlhoot3 wrote:

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So I got "tagged" in Facebook.


That's one hotbed of questions there. If my head and heart weren't so heavy I might find it therapeautic. You're on Facebook? You been tempted to twitter yet?  ;)



Me:
Anyway, this was my day. So this is all I have for now.


6. Somewhere, someone is thinking... That they literally, and very freshly, took a secret to their grave. And it's me. 

7. I'll always... wonder why that was. 

-- Edited by Nightowlhoot3 on Monday 16th of March 2009 07:53:47 AM

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 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqhKo8Aat90&feature=email

Psych Lit wrote:

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Nightowlhoot3 wrote:

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10. Before I go to bed...  I say goodnight to the dog, and get him quieted down, and settled.

ive wondered about buckie and his bedtime. does he settle down or does he camp out at the end of your bed with one eye open waiting for mommy to come and play?

This would be one of those "pick your battles" things. Long story short -- since the combined arrival of both him AND my Mom some six months ago, or so, (almost seven, now) I've given up on the living room sofa. It wasn't all that great to begin with, but in a very short time, although there still aren't any tears in it, or anything ... well, the spills, the drools ... the "I can only fight so many things right now" feeling I had at the time -- the sofa is now Buck's bedroom. He lies there and watches out the security screen front door for any dog who DARES to walk, on leash past HIS property ...   and that's where he sleeps at night. At some point, I'll just replace the couch, and then he can have it elsewhere. My last dog slept on the bed with me, but she was little, short haired, and not destructive when it came to chewing things. This one stays OUT of my bedroom, period. I don't know how he managed to get that leather shoe YESTERDAY, but it certainly confirmed my intention of keeping him out of there.

I have noticed, though, now that you mention it, that for the last two mornings, when I've opened the bedroom door, he's been sleeping in the hallway just on the other side of it. Yesterday, when I went to the back door to go water the flowers there was one of the big sofa cushions leaning up against the doggie door, (apparently, he couldn't get it THROUGH the doggie door) so I suspect it may be getting a little warm for him in the house, and he's anticipating future repose in the cooler-at-night back yard.


11. Today I... am going to deal with some of the disaster my plumber has made of my home -- whether he likes it, or not.

and how did it go?

Not as well as I'd have liked. It's times like this my slipped disc irritates me. I just can't pick up and move heavy things any more. And too, it's one of those ... sort of trickle down chain things ... "this is because of THIS which is because of THIS which is because of THIS, which the plumber still has to do, so I can't redo that" stuff, you know? What it eventually boiled down to, was my needing to have a place to store HIS stuff, plus the stuff he's gotten for and from this house, like the bathroom sink that he put on a chair on the front porch MONTHS ago, and the two huge pieces of ... not drywall, but "magic board?" also on the front porch, as well as some cardboard boxes he put there full of bits of the former plaster wall -- ALL too heavy to lift, and I don't know where I'd put them anyway. Can't put them in the dumpster -- that's against the rules. I figured I'd at least haul them around to the back yard somehow, but since he didn't finish filling in one of the gates back there with slats, my backyard is still visible to the whole world (including the neighborhood improvement dude) and already litered with parts of what was the fence I had before, and other boxes of parts and tools of  his and stuff. I finally decided that what I needed to do was just cut the slats for the gate, buy the hardware (the bolts) and put the slats in myself, and that's when I discovered my Makita drill oddly absent from its normal place of residence.



So? I need to buy another drill. And I WOULD, were it not for the fact that work has been VERY slow coming in, And between now, and the end of April, I have my annual AAA membership, my 6 months car insurance on two vehicles, AND the emission testing and tags for both due. I haven't driven the van for awhile, so that needs to be done before I take her for the emissions testing -- need fresher gas in there, too, but the battery is dead dead in her, and the newly installed one (did I put that one in there? It would seem so, but I can't imagine my tightening it down so) doesn't want to seem to let go of the cables. If I DO manage to get it loose, I'll have to spring for another battery, of course.

And NONE of this would give me any real anxiety, if I'd not just lost pretty much all my available credit on my credit card, thanks to the economic disaster.

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24. One of my biggest pet peeves ... is seeing someone snag the handicapped parking space closest to the store door, and then BOUNDING out of their vehicle, and trotting into the store -- clearly that handicapped license plate on that car isn't for THEM, but they take advantage of it, anyway.

oh yeah this is one of mine too

Several years ago, around the time of my bicycle accident, because my arm was still in a sling, when Mom was still driving, we'd just been in the grocery store, and were getting back in the car, preparing to leave. Mom does things SLOWLY. So this guy about ... eh? Forty, maybe? in a 40K shiny huge PU is waiting for OUR spot, and he gets impatient, and LEAPS out of his truck, and STOMPS over to Mom's side of the car, and starts YELLING at her through the open window.

I was LIVID.

I stepped quickly OUT of the car, and told him in no uncertain terms to BACK OFF -- to leave my Mom ALONE -- that she was elderly, and handicapped -- I think at some point I asked him what HIS handicap was, and suggested it was either civility, or mental prowess... though, perhaps not in those exact terms. Clearly, it wasn't physical, and he was alone in the truck. He practically RAN back to his truck (not because he was afraid of me, but rather, I suspect, because he was afraid he might hit me, or something) and drove off. Thing is? It was a BIG parking lot. BIG. We just HAPPENED to have the handicapped space not only closest to the store, but also in the shade of one dinkly little tree shrub. There were TONS of empty spaces all around us, just a few vehicles down. It would have been NO PROBLEM for him to have parked in any one of those, and he probably would have been in and out of the store in the time he spent waiting for, and then engaging us. And he HAD NO HANDICAP! He was COMPLETELY able-bodied.

I try, I really do, to be understanding in these circumstances, and tell myself things like ... maybe he was just there to pick someone UP who has a handicap. I've done that, been there, myself. Legally, if you're driving a car with a handicap license plate, you can park in the reserved parking space. Morally? ETHICALLY?? Not so much so, IMO. 

Another time, at the bank I had a little conversation with a guy in a big expensive car who not only parked in a handicap parking space, even though he was completely able-bodied, but managed to straddle the line, and take up TWO of the handicap spaces, where there were FOUR TOTAL. I was already parked in one, having wheeled Mom inside, and then returning to the van to wait for her. 

I really need to stop engaging these people. My temper just snaps when I see people doing this, and a sort of rage overtakes me. I guess? It's just that that sort of abusive behavior on the part of those self centered people is just too close to bullying, in a way, you know? It's taking something away from someone who NEEDS it by force, sort of, and it makes a process which is ALREADY hard enough for some people all that much MORE difficult, and that chaps my hide.  

25. Why can't they make ... the timing of traffic lights NOT be set at three miles OVER the speed limit?

cause then they couldnt give you those from the sky tickets. speaking of which i got the radar gun aimed at me over the weekend. i was doing 85 at the time in a 65 zone.  i saw the cop in the distance and hit the break but i dunno what the range is on those things. im expecting the ticket to come in the mail any day now. sigh

 

Yikes. I'm sorry to hear that. It's an awful feeling, isn't it? We here in AZ are "photo radar" happy, and they're all over the freeways now. After my bad experience a year or so ago I flinch every time I'm driving the freeway, and feel that "flash" of the camera. I tell myself it's NOT for me -- remind myself that I have my cruise control set at 56 mph, and the photo snapping is for the car in the far left hand lane, and not mine, in the far right hand lane, which everyone is sailing past, but even so, I still always have that "omg" moment when it happens. The yucky part about the impersonal ticketing these days is, I think, the "waiting for the other boot to fall" time after you've been "captured" or think you may have been, and when the actual ticket arrives in the mail, IF IT DOES. Sometimes, though, you're not ticketed after all, but when do you decide enough time has passed for you to exhale? Worse still, is when it doesn't arrive in the mail at ALL, and you open the door to a freakin' process server.  

I pretty much use my cruise control exclusively these days when I venture any distance from my home at all. (Don't have many of those radar guns and photo radar things around here, except for red-light runners.) Whenever I go to Tempe, now, I'll just set it at 45, 40, 35 -- whatever the speed limit is, and then watch for new speed signs, and tap it five times accordingly. This allows me to also occasionally pay attention to what's happening on the ROAD, and not so much watching ONLY for speed limit signs and my speedometer. Gone are the days of using your BRAIN to drive prudently. Now, it's all about finding new devious ways to eke money out of the motorists.

 

 

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nesea wrote:

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2. I am listening to... katie melua

ive not head of her. what genre?

6. Somewhere, someone is thinking... what the heck is a kaboodle anyway?

kits dog.

9. When I wake up in the morning... I try to linger for a few moments in that hazy place between sleeping and waking

oh yeah isnt that a nice place? especially when the snooze alarm doesnt interrupt

22. As a housekeeper, I'm ... the worst. i need a housekeeper but i don't want to pay for one

yup i can relate and then there is the guilt factor

 

 

 

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Nightowlhoot3 wrote:

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1. I've come to realize that my last kiss... is da reason i caught da cold that led to the headache that blew the weekend.  however there are some things worth sniffling for.

2. I am listening to... hardball on msnbc. right now its the sideshow segment.

3. I talk... more with my eyes and mannerisms than i do with my voice.

4. I love... "pina coladas and getting caught in the rain" and of course those with half a brain.  ok serious answer tho that was rather a serious answer...reading, my fambly, 10 or 12 other people on a good day when theyre not pissing me off, the changing of the seasons, a deserted beach on a warm spring day, roaring fires on snowy nights, cheeky women, wit, charm, a whole day with nothing to do but write, x country skiing, kayaking, laps in the pool, my cats, my dog, my mattress, bubble baths, getting blown away by an idea, carnivals, traveling, ,my car, calmness, thinkers, working up a good sweat on a hot day, autumn leaves, chocolate, iced tea..ok ill stop now.

5. My best friends... usually fight among themselves and try with all they have to drag me into it which always ends predictably with all mad at me.  this completely describes the current situation and when this is resolved there will be another right behind it. psychlits rules numbers 1: in human relationships never insert yourself between warring women and failing that 2: never nod your head or give any other acknowledgement when said friends are raging about the other. such head nods or even a scratch to the ear may be taken as agreement which will then be passed on to the other party in the war which always results in well she agreed with me about you when i said____ which of course ends, when they make up, with all pissed at me. mantra for this day and everyday. you are grown women capable of solving your problems with each other without my interferrence so go and make it so.  lol. whew i feel better now. i have 10 voice mails from my two best friends. i aint calling them back.

6. Somewhere, someone is thinking... "i wish i could do ___________but im afraid id fail if i tried." someone is always thinking this. its the lil recording that plays in the back of most peoples heads.

7. I'll always... have paris...

8. The last time I really cried was because... hmm well i sniffle and tear up at touching moments and can tear up when i witness bravery or injustice but i seem to have lost my ability to really cry. there was a time in my younger years when i cried a lot. i cried when i was nervous, i cried when i was angry, i cried when i was frustrated, i cried when i didnt get my way, i cried when i was disappointed, i cried when i was sad. the problem with all of that crying is that it was a displacement of my real feelings most of the time, it got in the way of my effectiveness in many circumstances and it was embarrassing. so i did the hard work and solved that problem. took a few years but i havent had an all out sob in a very long time.  in fact true story. a few months ago i had an eyelash caught in my eye and couldnt dislodge it. i splashed water, nope, used the corner of a hanky, nope and i thought geesh i need to cry this out and sat there trying to think of a reason that might bring on a good all out tear fest that might wash it out and of course trying to cry is as impossible as trying not to cry...

9. When I wake up in the morning...i curse the dawn. then i get up and do my pilates, eat my gruel, check my mail and take a shower.

10. Before I go to bed... hmm which time. the joys of perimental pause means i shift sleep. a few hours here or there and then a good 5 hours when exhaustion sets in around 2am.  and before i do that i make my "goodnight sugar call", i take my bubble bath and read, i make some sleepy time tea and come and read this board.

11. Today I... see above re cursing dawn and morning ritual, worked, had a yogurt and a pear and walked on the beach at lunch, worked some more, stopped at the y on my way home did some time on the eliptical and treadmill and a 40 min swim, took a nap, ate some fruit salad and a piece of cheese and some chex mix. watched a tape of criminal minds that someone made for me, called gf, took a bath, read a bit, and here i am!

12. Tomorrow I will be... wanting to play in the sun. it will be almost 60. we are one day closer to spring.

13. I really want to be... less frazzled most of the time. more present in the moment.

14. My favorite comfort food meal/treat is...meatloaf, mashed garlic potatoes, green beans and apple pie with vanilla ice cream.

15. I really love the smell of ...essential oils, babies, the air after it rains, gfs t shirt that she left here, fresh baked bread, microwave popcorn (as long as it isnt burned)

16. I'd really like to change the way I ...procrastinate

17. I'm really proud of ...being a good friend

18. Economically, I'm feeling ... oh wow the 64 zillion dollar question. ok, not ok, stressed, not stressed. worried yet not knowing why it is that we are all supposed to be worried. im not wanting to even attend to all of this stuff anymore. its raising the stress hormones.

19. I really laugh hard when ...i watch the comedy channel

20. I wish I didn't ...have to work tomorrow

21. Snail mail is ... rare outside of holidays and the birthday. aside from that its redirected to someone paid to deal with it and i almost never see it.

22. As a housekeeper, I'm ...er...i have a system..yeah thats it...a system

23. Cell phones ...make life far easier

24. One of my biggest pet peeves ...people who are negative. people who stop short in front of me. people who talk loudly in places meant to be quiet, entitled people.

25. Why can't they make ...oh i know i know...a robot or machine that would exercise you painlessly while you did something enjoyable and wouldnt be a distraction while youre doing the enjoyable thing and when you were finished with the complete workout would give you a wonderful heated massage.

26. I'm really cautious when I ...until i get to know someone well.

27. I oftentimes just get giddy with joy when I'm ...playing in the snow

28. I'm really nervous about ... nothing at the moment

29. I came out when I was ...17, went back in when i was 25 and came back out again at 30.

30. Nothing is more great than ...seeing people act in generous, kind and ethical ways

 

 

-- Edited by Nightowlhoot3 on Monday 16th of March 2009 07:53:47 AM

 

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Nightowlhoot3 wrote:

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So I got "tagged" in Facebook.

Let's get one thing straight -- the most I do on Facebook is create a new password, because it's been so long since the last time I've been there, that I've no clue what my SN or password is, any more.

Even so ... I got this game/questionnaire thing from a friend from the past, and thought I'd carry it over here, just for the heck of it. A lot of the questions didn't seem really appropriate for us, though, so I whittled the list of 20 down to 13 questions, and then added numbers 14-30 on my own. :)

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss... was hurried. No rushing next time

2. I am listening to... katie melua

3. I talk... therefore I am ... lol

4. I love... learning new stuff

5. My best friends... laugh a lot

6. Somewhere, someone is thinking... what the heck is a kaboodle anyway?

7. I'll always... do my best

8. The last time I really cried was because... watching "city of angels" over the weekend .. it gets me everytime

9. When I wake up in the morning... I try to linger for a few moments in that hazy place between sleeping and waking

10. Before I go to bed... i review my day to look for things i might have handled better .. then i say my prayers 

11. Today I... am happy and content

12. Tomorrow I will be... lol... who knows

13. I really want to be... more active

14. My favorite comfort food meal/treat is... can't pick just one ... changes with moods and seasons.

15. I really love the smell of ... freshly cut grass, coffee, bread, leaves in the fall

16. I'd really like to change the way I ... am impatient.

17. I'm really proud of ...  this is kinda tough .. I'll have to come back to it

18. Economically, I'm feeling ... stable for the moment

19. I really laugh hard when ... i'm with friends

20. I wish I didn't ... have weight to lose

21. Snail mail is ... only fun on birthdays 

22. As a housekeeper, I'm ... the worst. i need a housekeeper but i don't want to pay for one

23. Cell phones ... are a convenice I couldn't live without

24. One of my biggest pet peeves ... people making a right on red and interferring with traffic flow when you have the green arrow to go left

25. Why can't they make ... liquid sugar in little packets so you don't have to stir your iced tea til all the ice melts and the sugar is still sitting in the bottom of the glass.

26. I'm really cautious when I ... am asked .. "so what do you think?"

27. I oftentimes just get giddy with joy when I'm ... off on a weekend jaunt

28. I'm really nervous about ...  the economy

29. I came out when I was ... out? lol .. outtawhere? .. ok, so I'm out to only a select few.  what ?? ...  it's none of their business

30. Nothing is more great than ... love and trust