hmmm good question. one place where i post has a list of questions that newbies get to answer that gives some insight into things like age and interests. mebbe we should design a folder with questions?
Sure! As long as it's understood participation isn't mandatory. Get on that, will ya, Psych?
and here i was smoothly delegating here. lol
tsk. Now, you know this board is a group effort, and we do things by committee. I vote YOU pick the quiz game! LOL.
Now, though, my work can travel with me, and so I'm beginning, after decades of not even being able to long look at, to consider spending my senior years in a place where the sound of cricketts is more dominant than the sound of convertibles. This might stem from the number of years I've spent on farms, where I learned to appreciate (although not at the time, of course) the solitude found in a sprawling wheat field. As late as the seventies the Sedona/Oak Creek area was like that too, and I used to retreat there for a kind of nurturing which is only suggested there now.
when i moved into my first house i had a farm across the street and a park in back of me. fast forward 20 years and the farm was gone and the park had a new development surrounding it. i missed the quiet and i moved. now i miss the proximity to things. i miss what i took for granted like the power staying on when the wind hits 15mph. i liked the idea of a lesbian community but im thinking id like the spaces between houses to be a bit more and the city to be a bit less.
Yikes! I didn't know that! Makes sense, I suppose, but ... yikes!
oh yeah. big yikes.
II don't know that I could put my finger on an "oldest" age. Really don't. Younger? Hmmm. Well, there's always the exception to the rule, I suppose, but at this point in my life ... hmmmm. I'd have to first check to find out (remember) how old a specific woman is. LOL. Age does matter, I suppose, but ... it's not the foremost concern, is it? After you've emerged from your thirties, I mean. It would seem the "age restrictions" would have their origin in child-bearing concerns, yes?
dunno about that. at least not for me. the youngest woman i dated was 24 to my 40 and the oldest was 45 to my 30. neither worked and age played a big part in the whys of that.
NOT interested in that at this point in my life. Grandkids? Okfine, but not kids of my own to rear. Not little ones, any way. I adore kids, truly, and cherish the time I spend with the special ones in my life, and yeah, once in a blue moon I think fleetingly about foster parenting, but the thought is short-lived, and I'm back to the "first you get comfortable with a dog, and THEN we'll talk about kids" phase in my life. :) I do regret that I never had children, but that's water under the bridge at this point, and I'm good with that.
i do enjoy kiddos. they liven up the space and since nobody is gifting me with grandchildren yet im happy for the kid.
hmmm good question. one place where i post has a list of questions that newbies get to answer that gives some insight into things like age and interests. mebbe we should design a folder with questions?
Sure! As long as it's understood participation isn't mandatory. Get on that, will ya, Psych?
and here i was smoothly delegating here. lol
Any thoughts, pointers, or feelings anyone out there might have to offer, regardless of their age? Are we, as lesbians facing a future different from our heterosexual mothers by virtue of our sexual preference? Are there things we should be doing right now, to better prepare for that, of which we might be unaware?
im thinking that a lot of the things that we need to do are similar to things that any aging person needs to do. thinking about proximity to medical centers or transportation. making sure that there is adequate social opportunities. making sure that we save enough now while we are working so that when the time comes we will be able to live comfortably...assuming that the market gets back up to 12 or 13. otherwise im thinking an investment in lil friskie may be the way to go:)
OK, when you say "lil friskie" do you mean invest in cat food stock, or do you mean find yourself a "lil' friskie" to tend for you in your declining years?
Is aging as a lesbian different from aging as a straight woman?
I wonder if we face the same plusses and minuses as do heterosexual woman as we grow older.
Financially, of course, we're not at present able to have the financial/medical benefits from our spouses, deceased or otherwise, our heterosexual counterparts have, via tapping into their SS benefits, or other sources like the VA...
and think about those retirement communities most of which are default het. that seems like a recipe for a misunderstood later life as far as relating to others in the community go. there are some glbt retirement kinds of places but certainly not enough when the boomers are taken into consideration.
Perhaps the boomers will amend that. I was recently sent an article from the NYT by a person with whom I might one day retire. A possiblity. It was about a lesbian retirement community, and I'm still kicking that around in my head. On the surface, it sounds (to me) good. Really good. In practice? I think the appeal to this sort of thing is colored greatly by one's attraction or aversion to metropolitan areas as opposed to rural ones. Most of these lesbian "compounds" if you will (although that does sound rather David Koreshish) are rurally situated. When I was working as an actor/director, that wasn't practical for me. Now, though, my work can travel with me, and so I'm beginning, after decades of not even being able to long look at, to consider spending my senior years in a place where the sound of cricketts is more dominant than the sound of convertibles. This might stem from the number of years I've spent on farms, where I learned to appreciate (although not at the time, of course) the solitude found in a sprawling wheat field. As late as the seventies the Sedona/Oak Creek area was like that too, and I used to retreat there for a kind of nurturing which is only suggested there now.
Could I live in a community without men? Yeah, I think I could. I think I could quite easily, as a matter of fact. But then too, I think I could probably thrive in a physical community without women, either. Maybe it's not so much that I'm separatist as it is I'm just anti-social. LOL. I think one good companion would more than suffice, really, as long as I had access to the outside world via computer, TV, and the occasional trip. I like "space." I like wide open spaces. A lot. I like being someplace where I don't feel ANY eyes on me sometimes. Fewer and fewer places like that around, anymore.
For those of us who live in places where marriage is possible the situation gets more interesting. Its a s hit or get off the pot thing here. If you choose to not go the legal route its very possible that you will have fewer options with a sick partner than you might in states where marriage is not allowed. same with people who formerly had domestic partner bennies. ya gotta make it legal now to take advantage of those.
Yikes! I didn't know that! Makes sense, I suppose, but ... yikes!
I wonder if ageism is more, less, or equally dominant in the lesbian community from a dating perspective. I've no barometer any more for what constitutes an "old" lesbian, really. LOL. I know of course that has to do with the person doing the evaluating more than the object of evaluation, but even so... :)
you have to wonder where the over 50 lesbians have gone off to. It seems as tho the 40s and below are very socially active years but after that? do people give up on love? or are they more likely to try and work out relationships that they begin in their 40s so that they do not face the future alone or maybe the reasons are better in that they have matured and take the time to work things through? every so often i used to see those posts on the aol boards by young women looking for older lesbians. i wonder how common that is? whats the oldest anyone would go? the youngest?
I don't know that I could put my finger on an "oldest" age. Really don't. Younger? Hmmm. Well, there's always the exception to the rule, I suppose, but at this point in my life ... hmmmm. I'd have to first check to find out (remember) how old a specific woman is. LOL. Age does matter, I suppose, but ... it's not the foremost concern, is it? After you've emerged from your thirties, I mean. It would seem the "age restrictions" would have their origin in child-bearing concerns, yes? NOT interested in that at this point in my life. Grandkids? Okfine, but not kids of my own to rear. Not little ones, any way. I adore kids, truly, and cherish the time I spend with the special ones in my life, and yeah, once in a blue moon I think fleetingly about foster parenting, but the thought is short-lived, and I'm back to the "first you get comfortable with a dog, and THEN we'll talk about kids" phase in my life. :) I do regret that I never had children, but that's water under the bridge at this point, and I'm good with that.
I'm at a stage where I get SOME "senior" discounts -- but not all. I look around my immediate world, and I don't see any role models for becoming an elderly lesbian, and that's kind of a bummer. Most of the people with whom I post here and elsewhere are younger than am I, as well, although I wonder about those who frequent the boards, but don't post.
hmmm good question. one place where i post has a list of questions that newbies get to answer that gives some insight into things like age and interests. mebbe we should design a folder with questions?
Sure! As long as it's understood participation isn't mandatory. Get on that, will ya, Psych?
Any thoughts, pointers, or feelings anyone out there might have to offer, regardless of their age? Are we, as lesbians facing a future different from our heterosexual mothers by virtue of our sexual preference? Are there things we should be doing right now, to better prepare for that, of which we might be unaware?
im thinking that a lot of the things that we need to do are similar to things that any aging person needs to do. thinking about proximity to medical centers or transportation. making sure that there is adequate social opportunities. making sure that we save enough now while we are working so that when the time comes we will be able to live comfortably...assuming that the market gets back up to 12 or 13. otherwise im thinking an investment in lil friskie may be the way to go:)
OK, when you say "lil friskie" do you mean invest in cat food stock, or do you mean find yourself a "lil' friskie" to tend for you in your declining years?
Is aging as a lesbian different from aging as a straight woman?
I wonder if we face the same plusses and minuses as do heterosexual woman as we grow older.
Financially, of course, we're not at present able to have the financial/medical benefits from our spouses, deceased or otherwise, our heterosexual counterparts have, via tapping into their SS benefits, or other sources like the VA...
and think about those retirement communities most of which are default het. that seems like a recipe for a misunderstood later life as far as relating to others in the community go. there are some glbt retirement kinds of places but certainly not enough when the boomers are taken into consideration.
For those of us who live in places where marriage is possible the situation gets more interesting. Its a s hit or get off the pot thing here. If you choose to not go the legal route its very possible that you will have fewer options with a sick partner than you might in states where marriage is not allowed. same with people who formerly had domestic partner bennies. ya gotta make it legal now to take advantage of those.
I wonder if ageism is more, less, or equally dominant in the lesbian community from a dating perspective. I've no barometer any more for what constitutes an "old" lesbian, really. LOL. I know of course that has to do with the person doing the evaluating more than the object of evaluation, but even so... :)
you have to wonder where the over 50 lesbians have gone off to. It seems as tho the 40s and below are very socially active years but after that? do people give up on love? or are they more likely to try and work out relationships that they begin in their 40s so that they do not face the future alone or maybe the reasons are better in that they have matured and take the time to work things through? every so often i used to see those posts on the aol boards by young women looking for older lesbians. i wonder how common that is? whats the oldest anyone would go? the youngest?
I'm at a stage where I get SOME "senior" discounts -- but not all. I look around my immediate world, and I don't see any role models for becoming an elderly lesbian, and that's kind of a bummer. Most of the people with whom I post here and elsewhere are younger than am I, as well, although I wonder about those who frequent the boards, but don't post.
hmmm good question. one place where i post has a list of questions that newbies get to answer that gives some insight into things like age and interests. mebbe we should design a folder with questions?
Any thoughts, pointers, or feelings anyone out there might have to offer, regardless of their age? Are we, as lesbians facing a future different from our heterosexual mothers by virtue of our sexual preference? Are there things we should be doing right now, to better prepare for that, of which we might be unaware?
im thinking that a lot of the things that we need to do are similar to things that any aging person needs to do. thinking about proximity to medical centers or transportation. making sure that there is adequate social opportunities. making sure that we save enough now while we are working so that when the time comes we will be able to live comfortably...assuming that the market gets back up to 12 or 13. otherwise im thinking an investment in lil friskie may be the way to go:)
Is aging as a lesbian different from aging as a straight woman?
I wonder if we face the same plusses and minuses as do heterosexual woman as we grow older.
Financially, of course, we're not at present able to have the financial/medical benefits from our spouses, deceased or otherwise, our heterosexual counterparts have, via tapping into their SS benefits, or other sources like the VA...
I wonder if ageism is more, less, or equally dominant in the lesbian community from a dating perspective. I've no barometer any more for what constitutes an "old" lesbian, really. LOL. I know of course that has to do with the person doing the evaluating more than the object of evaluation, but even so... :)
I'm at a stage where I get SOME "senior" discounts -- but not all. I look around my immediate world, and I don't see any role models for becoming an elderly lesbian, and that's kind of a bummer. Most of the people with whom I post here and elsewhere are younger than am I, as well, although I wonder about those who frequent the boards, but don't post.
Any thoughts, pointers, or feelings anyone out there might have to offer, regardless of their age? Are we, as lesbians facing a future different from our heterosexual mothers by virtue of our sexual preference? Are there things we should be doing right now, to better prepare for that, of which we might be unaware?
I vote YOU pick the quiz game! LOL. 